ONCE UPON A TIME 0.7 : DAY 164

I keep doing this, writing, because I can. It is something I know how to do and I don’t have to leave my house. This transition from the old normal to the new is liken to, as they say in China, ‘Death by a thousand cuts.’ a slow form of torture. One gets to a point where, one by one,  the thousand cuts loose their edge and all you feel is numb. In the moment, you don’t notice how the isolation, separation wears you down. Over the months, we refer to it as the new normal but it’s an undeniable step down. Covid has robbed me of my White Privilege here in the new version. I sense a faint but real identification with Polish Jews from the 1930’s and people of color in the USA today. My Anglo history has better positioned me health wise and economically but at my age, I’m at a high risk. Should I go down, the odds against my healthy recovery are no better than 50:50.

It is a subtle but grim reminder, watching people who feel little or no compulsion to distance or use precaution as they come and go. If they do catch it, good chance it will be asymptomatic or only a mild infection. The possibility that they may help spread it seems irrelevant. There is a politically driven push back against safe practice that mocks the value of life. It would seem that old people and those with compromised immune systems should just go off and die, their time is short anyway. Cull the herd and leave it stronger. But more and more, as younger people fall prey, they are dying as well. Maybe only a small percentage but no less, dead is dead. That must be a terrible revelation for 30 somethings who find themselves on ventilators.

I have a friend in Mendoza, Argentina who teaches English. She has been in lockdown since mid March with no break. In Argentina, lockdown means just that. You can go to the nearest local (mercado) grocery but not across town. If you get sick, a doctor will be dispatched to treat you at home or by zoom. Prescriptions are delivered. If you can work from home, you work from home. If your job is essential and you are checked somewhere that is not on the most direct route to work, you pay the fine. With everybody locked down, crime has been curtailed enough that the police have nothing to do but check people who are out and about. The penalty for roaming out of your authorized range is a stiff fine. She tells me she is going crazy; all work and no go. We exchange e-mails on a regular basis. It is something we can do, long distance, virtual hugs. I had hoped to revisit Mendoza this summer. My niece and I were thinking about doing it together but even if we could find a way to get out of the country, nobody wants Americans in theirs. This evening, before the mosquitoes come out, I’ll check my back yard fence line for weeds to pull. With death by a thousand cuts, that will be an adventure.