ESSENCE

I get a good feeling sometimes when a predictable but unanticipated signal flashes on my radar; not a great feeling but certainly a good one. When I stand at my front door looking out across the patio I see the little Chokecherry tree not twenty feet away. I think it too grown up to call it ‘little’ but I planted it maybe ten years or twelve ago and it was little then. Now it’s over twenty feet tall with its trunk radius of 10 or 11 inches. On April Fool’s Day this week I opened the door and that little tree was covered with buds open enough to see green unfolding. That little sign is the precursor to another Spring unfolding. The Chokecherry is the first tree within sight of my door to bloom. It won’t be long now. One evening just before sundown, while all the other trees stand there naked, totally uninspired, I will step out my front door on my way to roll up truck windows or put a shovel inside the garage and the sweet smell of cherry blossoms will make me forget everything, absolutely everything; and I’l suck in one deep breath after another, and another. That is when I usher the same metaphor that I do every year, “Maybe there is a God after all.” I don’t have to be reminded that the God thing is a metaphor, that the god of punishment & reward, of war & peace, of forgiveness and revenge has been resigned to the same status as Rudolph the Red Nose and Spyder Man. I just use it for effect, the same way I use, “The Devil made me do it.” 
Cherry blossoms will be out like clusters of little white grapes and their essence simply cannot be replicated. That essence only lasts a day or maybe two but it is a signal that Spring is an irresistible force and it will have its way. It moves me to an optimism that seemed to be terminally ill just a few months before. I set my alarm so I can repeat the ritual again the next morning. By the sunrise after that the petals will be dropping to the ground. Tiny white circles that stick to your face and in your hair and I feel blessed again. When it’s done and the essence is just a magical memory it won’t be all that long before fully open leaves turn from vibrant green to a dark reddish-purple and you know that summer is not far off. I can live with all that.