How do you deal with beggars at intersections with disclaimers in magic marker on scraps of cardboard; God Bless, Viet Nam Vet, Haven’t eaten, etc.? I will vent my own disclaimer here: I give up. I do not give money to desperate people who may or may not be what they appear to be. But my mother did a thorough job with me. Any time, every time we encountered someone who needed a helping hand or suffered a grim affliction she whispered in my ear; “There but for the Grace of God go I; and you too.” I got it; the only thing between ‘Lucky’ me and a wretched beggar was God’s Grace. At our house charity and forgiveness was the price of God’s Grace. The downcast suffer enough, don’t send them away hungry.
So I don’t give money to downcast people but I do feel compelled to feed them. Today my appetite called out for chicken salad. I didn’t have any celery so I drove across town to the grocery. Just down the line a young woman stepped out from between parked cars. I don’t think you can grow this old and not see a shakedown coming. She was clean and dressed to fit the weather, a little chunky. Her hair had been bleached some time ago and the dark brown had grown back in several inches. Well spoken and very proper she began a story how she and her little girl had not eaten since the day before yesterday. I watched her lips move but I was paying attention to body language and to my own dilemma, what should I do? I believed her then and I believe her now; she was hungry, what ever else she might have been I couldn’t know. I told her I don’t give money to strangers, period, then asked her, “If you had money, what would you buy?” She thought for just a moment and told me; bread, eggs, milk and some apples. I asked her if she was safe, did she have a safe place to stay and she volunteered that she was safe and that things should get better next week.
Then I asked her, “If I go in and buy your groceries for you would you wait here for me to bring them out?” She said she would; I added her items to my list and told her, “You wait here. Don’t go away. I’ll be back in 20 minutes.” As I walked away she added, “White bread.” It took all of 20 minutes but when I got to my truck she was nowhere to be found. I waited for another 20 minutes and still no-show. I felt a little foolish but why so; she may have thought I would report her to store security or she may have been with some other person who didn’t like the deal. But she was hungry and I believe she had a hungry little girl somewhere, I’d bet on it (I guess I did).
Now I’m stuck with a large loaf of white bread and a half gallon of 2% milk: who in the world eats white bread! I volunteer with a (Hunger Outreach) group that puts sandwiches together one night a week for the homeless and food insecure. We host a big picnic feed twice a week at a downtown park and our Thursday night assembly line turns out maybe 300 (maybe more) ham & cheese sandwiches from donated supplies. Sometimes we feature lasagna or stew along with the sandwiches and we don’t hear any disclaimers, just ThankYou, up and down the line. That’s when I hear my mom’s “There but for the Grace of God.” She was a true believer. I think it a metaphor and a good one for people at their best, for the convergence of charity and forgiveness in the same space. The eggs and apples will keep several weeks and I can work them into my diet but the white bread will probably be enjoyed by the birds and squirrels.
So I don’t give money to downcast people but I do feel compelled to feed them. Today my appetite called out for chicken salad. I didn’t have any celery so I drove across town to the grocery. Just down the line a young woman stepped out from between parked cars. I don’t think you can grow this old and not see a shakedown coming. She was clean and dressed to fit the weather, a little chunky. Her hair had been bleached some time ago and the dark brown had grown back in several inches. Well spoken and very proper she began a story how she and her little girl had not eaten since the day before yesterday. I watched her lips move but I was paying attention to body language and to my own dilemma, what should I do? I believed her then and I believe her now; she was hungry, what ever else she might have been I couldn’t know. I told her I don’t give money to strangers, period, then asked her, “If you had money, what would you buy?” She thought for just a moment and told me; bread, eggs, milk and some apples. I asked her if she was safe, did she have a safe place to stay and she volunteered that she was safe and that things should get better next week.
Then I asked her, “If I go in and buy your groceries for you would you wait here for me to bring them out?” She said she would; I added her items to my list and told her, “You wait here. Don’t go away. I’ll be back in 20 minutes.” As I walked away she added, “White bread.” It took all of 20 minutes but when I got to my truck she was nowhere to be found. I waited for another 20 minutes and still no-show. I felt a little foolish but why so; she may have thought I would report her to store security or she may have been with some other person who didn’t like the deal. But she was hungry and I believe she had a hungry little girl somewhere, I’d bet on it (I guess I did).
Now I’m stuck with a large loaf of white bread and a half gallon of 2% milk: who in the world eats white bread! I volunteer with a (Hunger Outreach) group that puts sandwiches together one night a week for the homeless and food insecure. We host a big picnic feed twice a week at a downtown park and our Thursday night assembly line turns out maybe 300 (maybe more) ham & cheese sandwiches from donated supplies. Sometimes we feature lasagna or stew along with the sandwiches and we don’t hear any disclaimers, just ThankYou, up and down the line. That’s when I hear my mom’s “There but for the Grace of God.” She was a true believer. I think it a metaphor and a good one for people at their best, for the convergence of charity and forgiveness in the same space. The eggs and apples will keep several weeks and I can work them into my diet but the white bread will probably be enjoyed by the birds and squirrels.
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