Friday, March 31, 2023

CHORUS OF CROWS

The last thing I want is to be dismissed because of my age and the implied irrelevance that goes with it, the assumption that I have nothing of value to offer. But experience is still the best teacher and it can unfold in two dimensions. The first is with a flash of intense, profound insight and the other is cumulative, in small bites over long stretches of time. To my advantage or to my misfortune (depends on what you believe) I spent six decades growing up in another (different) century. I like to think that many good life-lessons and difficult truths were rolled out from WW2 to Y2K. Add on another two-plus decades in the present century, you get the long stretch of experience that cannot be acquired any other way. It seems to me there would be a stretch after premature naiveté and before senility where one’s views should be considered. 
I have been listening & reading the news again, something I gave up a few years back due to an overload of hyperbole, bad news and misinformation. To that extent, not much has changed. In the meantime I have been studying the evolution of civilization; reading, taking notes, read again, review and reframe notes. I have learned to be skeptical of everything that has winners and losers, even if I want to believe the Story. It is no longer theory, rather a compelling truth that the subconscious desire to believe one Story or another is strong enough to overcome both contrary logic and overwhelming evidence. So my uncomfortable dilemma is challenging my own belief in what makes me feel good, even more stringently than what irks me the most. If I can’t defend my beliefs convincingly, credibly, I should consider changing my beliefs; otherwise I am just another "Caw" in a chorus of Crows. But common sense would have us cling to what makes us feel right, as in Righteous. I side with Albert Einstein who said, “Common sense is a list of prejudices one acquires in their youth.” I guess that means I feel better about Albert’s quote than a thin attempt to validate some baseless, wannabe wisdom. Reversing one's own beliefs can be a patient, natural process that slowly assimilates with a new paradigm, a drawn out revelation. In any case it is not a decision, rather a discovery. Intelligent people (unbelievers) get religion late in life. People change their politics, change their favorite football team. They un-love the one they have loved all along and some even give up mean spirited greed in favor of compassion. 
I have wanted to believe that organized religion is no better than any other corrupt, man made institution. That came as a mid life discovery but I’ve had to rethink my thinking. If we believe that human kind is superior and civilization is a good thing, then man made religion is a good thing that not only exercises control over large numbers of otherwise strangers (which in many ways is a good thing). That Story and its sanctified rituals strengthen ties of loyalty and a higher purpose. Humans are hard wired to seek a supernatural (magic) entity who can control nature to their advantage and ease their pain. It was true 5,000 years ago and it is true today. If you are an unbeliever you are part of a minority, too few and too little to change the course o civilization. 
The Story I am processing now is not exactly what I believed at the start but its pieces all fit in a plausible scheme. Like Yuval Harari said, “What we believe doesn’t have to be true, it only has to work.” and that (work) clause can be for the individual in their narrow little niche or for the greater community’s collective best interest. That subtle difference between (individual & collective) is a major stumbling block for most common sense junkies.
I am part of the minority that questions the worth of humans in general. Every other natural system on the planet has suffered degradation or loss of habitat with humans calling the shots. I think we are high functioning animals. I am not a misanthrope, I don’t hate mankind but neither am I impressed with our self worship, ego & greed that seem to partner seamlessly with clever tricks. I am not pitching a conspiracy, not trying to convert anybody or sell memberships. If others think my Story is too much to believe, that’s alright. I may have to change mine should I stumble onto a better one. Still, I don’t want to be dismissed as an old crank who has lost his mind. It doesn't have to be true, it just has to work.  

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