There is plenty to write about. The world (planet) has kicked it up a notch with climate change, civilization dealing with pandemic, the virus itself and the overreaching problems the disease creates; I have more than enough to write about. But it ain’t easy, ain’t always what it seems. I never make mistakes. I thought I did once but I was wrong.
I recently took part in a virtual, zoom meeting where all participants supposedly shared similar social/political values and points of view. I can’t say that we didn’t but trying to find common ground was like throwing jello at the wall, trying to make something stick.
In the 1990’s I was fixed on the history and beliefs of indigenous, 1st Nation people. Although every nation and tribe has its own unique culture, they share many common roots. One view that stuck with me was; regardless of where you are, at that particular time, your relative location is at the center of the universe. As you move through place and time, the universe keeps you centered.
I was not Nativo, I knew that, would never be native and trying to capture even a sliver of that identify for myself would be at best naive, pissing in the wind. According to my friend Duncan Sings-alone, even high percentage mezcladas (mixed bloods) struggle to recapture the essence of that former life. Even then, all they get is a glimpse and that has to be decoded and translated. What could a Wasícu (White man) hope to glean from remnants of a culture that White men had tried to exterminate! Still, if I can borrow from that sensibility, something that transcends the rift, if I can frame it with balance when I have none, if I can lean on it for the sake of the mystery; then maybe I can benefit by osmosis.
As a Wasícu, the center of the universe is of course a metaphor. Everything is scattered around me in all directions for as far as I can reach. Most of it is incomplete or muddled, leaving me unfulfilled but like my friend, all I can hope for is a glimpse. The people at my zoom meeting were so sure they knew all there was to know, I could neither comprehend nor make myself understood. But it does support an notion that we can only come to each other from where we are at the time and what that means. Most Nativos identify as ‘Two-Leggeds’, that their place in creation is with the animals. Western culture is too proud to go there. Maybe it’s that pride that alienates me from my kinsmen. To my thinking, taking pride is no more, no less than an unmerited, self righteous indulgence.
All we get are nerve impulses that shortcut the thinking network on their way to having meaning. To suggest that all brains interpret those impulses the same would be to deny the role diversity plays and I find that hard to accept. At the meeting, questions were all rhetorical, for the sake of irony. Nobody was seeking insight, only reinforcement of a predetermined bias, the very flaw they so despised in others. I am reminded that we, all of us, we respond to an emotional stimulus long before we consult reason. Even then, it is near impossible to over rule strong feelings with a logical argument. I am just a ‘Two-Legged’ and I accept my limitations. In the end, I am likewise ruled by my feelings. But I think maybe, my view is from the center of the universe and it requires looking in all directions. They are on the boundary looking in and casting judgment is easier from out there.
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