NOTHING SAVE BE WELL: DAY 168

Early September, a misty, foggy morning; broken clouds up there, can’t see past the house across the street. I am into that first hour after breakfast-coffee, the part of my day when I can sit and self medicate with my feelings, not thinking, just to be. In that fleeting moment the weight of the world is off some other where and I am spared. In its passage the only sensation I can put my hands on is one of peaceful, unconditional love that requires nothing save be well. Don’t want to think too much; let it be. 

Last week I watched an old, PBS special on the life and times of John Denver. He was the front man for the Chad Mitchell Trio in 1966 when they performed at William Jewell College, my alma mater. It was easy to believe that he was innocent and naive as his persona. I suppose he was early on. His music has always good medicine. I had not forgotten but the program gave me pause, brought it back around. 

2005 in Santiago, Chile, I was teaching English at ‘La Biblioteca Para Ciegos,’ The Library For The Blind. My students knew the lyrics to American music by heart even if they didn’t understand a word. So I played guitar, we sang and I translated the lyrics into Español; “Me dejando en un avión a reaccion.”   ‘I’m Leaving On A Jet Plane’ was their favorite. It sounded so happy. When they connected with its lonely, melancholy theme it made them sad but they loved it all the more. People passing on the street below could hear us singing. “Tell me that you’ll wait for me. Hold me like you’ll never let me go.” 

I’ve been listening this morning, if not reflecting on my own story then simply taking comfort in his; “. . . don’t know when I’ll be back again. Oh Babe, I hate to go.” Like my blind students from so long ago, I am swamped with mixed messages; Covid fatalities rise, open the economy, wear mask, don’t wear mask, millions file for unemployment. My peaceful first hour of the day is short lived and I won’t be able to simply be, not much longer. Sunlight has burned through the fog and the bald cypress tree in my back yard glows green in full daylight as only the cypress can. I will need to mow grass in the next few days and for sanity’s sake, I need to self motivate, find a healthy venue for unspent energy. But still, the first hour after coffee is like church for the faithful. I soak up blessings that transcend religion, that require nothing save a thankful, peaceful heart; “Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy. Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry. Sunshine on the water looks so lovely. Sunshine almost always makes me high.”