When my room was just down the hall from my parent’s and they had no qualms about telling me what should and shouldn’t be it was my mother who kept me informed. Dad told good stories but otherwise he wasn’t much for conversation. If I wasn’t a happy kid at least I was content. I made do with what I had except for wanting to be older, like my big brother. When we moved from the city to the country, school was nearly three miles away and there was no bus. So David got a full size, 2nd hand bicycle and we rode the bike to and from school. He drove while I sat sidesaddle on the bar. I was a 1st grader and Dave in the 4th, I got teased at school for the sidesaddle thing. If there was snow or bitter cold my mom drove us in the car but otherwise we bundled up and rode the bike. Needless to say, I wanted my own bike and I let it be known; “I can’t wait until I get my own bicycle.” Mom always had the same advice; “Don’t wish your life away.” When Dave got his driver’s license he got a job, bought an old car and I envied his newfound freedom. “I can’t wait until I turn 16.” Again, my mom shared her wisdom, not to wish my life away.
Tapping into that sense of being in the moment took a long time for me to appreciate but then Life Lessons move in their own time. Someone once told me that Life Lessons are framed by circumstances and if you don’t learn it then-&-there the lesson recycles and reboots. The same lesson will come back around in a different situation with a new set of circumstances and we get to experience it again, and again, and again until we finally get it. My mother knew that but she didn’t squander it to a 6 or 13 year-old. She knew that her one-liner about wishing one’s life away would resonate in its own good time.
Something to think about; as years keep accumulating the way that pattern reverses itself doesn’t need an explanation. I wish, if I could have my wish, that some experiences just hang on and on, dwell in a time warp that slows down to suit your appetite. But my mom would tell me; “Wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up first.” Of course someone else would give me the same advice except for substituting ‘pee’ for ‘spit’. My mom would never, not ever suggest the pee option even in jest or for effect. The kernel of truth there is another lesson; time flies when you’re having fun. I found that having fun is not a hard-fast requirement for time to fly. All it takes is to be busy with something that requires one’s undivided attention.
The longer I live the more I appreciate my mom’s patience and persistence. Not that my dad wasn’t wise or interested. Whatever he had to share would come out in a narrative, a story with a beginning, a middle and an end. She wasn’t condescending but maybe didactic and certainly informative. The two of them, they learned how to live in the Great Depression, she had a profound religious faith and he with a profound sense of fairplay. Between them they combined their talents and gave us (3) boys a proper home. In many ways we’ve mirrored their values but each in our own way. All of us rejected the Christian tradition, I was the last to make that leap. I was the only son to embrace plurality, diversity and equity as how one should live. My World View is left leaning progressive but my practice is to doubt all (every) ideology that competes for power. My brothers both doubted everything that conflicted with their me-first appetite. Neither had much interest in riches and power, just enough to satisfy their creature comfort and unmerited privileges. Likable, even lovable, the Greater Good was no more to them than high-minded propaganda.
With my StoryTelling history (maybe inherited or modeled from Dad) my favorite stories are songs; 3 verses, a bridge & a chorus. Short stories with meter and rhyme; if it’s good enough I never forget. There are so many great songs, for ever so many situations and experience it’s hard to pick one that speaks best to family, siblings and this journey. Wandering off the subject here but I’ve been watching You Tube (Playing For Change) from Australia. The song was first recorded 55 years ago and it’s still current, still potent, still awesome; Crosby Stills & Nash “Teach Your Children Well. When my days have all been spent and people gather ‘round to wish me godspeed, taking comfort in each other’s company and confronting their own mortality I would ask whoever’s in charge to let me go with this song. The You Tube (Playing For Change) group from Australia goes over the top. I have been watching, listening to it for months, not every day but several times a day on many days. It is a good song to end the day with. If you haven’t listened to the (Playing For Change) version then you should.
You, who are on the road; Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself; Because the past is just a goodbye
Chorus
Teach your children well; Their father's hell did slowly go by
Feed them on your dreams; The one they pick's the one you'll know by
Don't you ever ask them why; If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh; And know they love you
Tapping into that sense of being in the moment took a long time for me to appreciate but then Life Lessons move in their own time. Someone once told me that Life Lessons are framed by circumstances and if you don’t learn it then-&-there the lesson recycles and reboots. The same lesson will come back around in a different situation with a new set of circumstances and we get to experience it again, and again, and again until we finally get it. My mother knew that but she didn’t squander it to a 6 or 13 year-old. She knew that her one-liner about wishing one’s life away would resonate in its own good time.
Something to think about; as years keep accumulating the way that pattern reverses itself doesn’t need an explanation. I wish, if I could have my wish, that some experiences just hang on and on, dwell in a time warp that slows down to suit your appetite. But my mom would tell me; “Wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up first.” Of course someone else would give me the same advice except for substituting ‘pee’ for ‘spit’. My mom would never, not ever suggest the pee option even in jest or for effect. The kernel of truth there is another lesson; time flies when you’re having fun. I found that having fun is not a hard-fast requirement for time to fly. All it takes is to be busy with something that requires one’s undivided attention.
The longer I live the more I appreciate my mom’s patience and persistence. Not that my dad wasn’t wise or interested. Whatever he had to share would come out in a narrative, a story with a beginning, a middle and an end. She wasn’t condescending but maybe didactic and certainly informative. The two of them, they learned how to live in the Great Depression, she had a profound religious faith and he with a profound sense of fairplay. Between them they combined their talents and gave us (3) boys a proper home. In many ways we’ve mirrored their values but each in our own way. All of us rejected the Christian tradition, I was the last to make that leap. I was the only son to embrace plurality, diversity and equity as how one should live. My World View is left leaning progressive but my practice is to doubt all (every) ideology that competes for power. My brothers both doubted everything that conflicted with their me-first appetite. Neither had much interest in riches and power, just enough to satisfy their creature comfort and unmerited privileges. Likable, even lovable, the Greater Good was no more to them than high-minded propaganda.
With my StoryTelling history (maybe inherited or modeled from Dad) my favorite stories are songs; 3 verses, a bridge & a chorus. Short stories with meter and rhyme; if it’s good enough I never forget. There are so many great songs, for ever so many situations and experience it’s hard to pick one that speaks best to family, siblings and this journey. Wandering off the subject here but I’ve been watching You Tube (Playing For Change) from Australia. The song was first recorded 55 years ago and it’s still current, still potent, still awesome; Crosby Stills & Nash “Teach Your Children Well. When my days have all been spent and people gather ‘round to wish me godspeed, taking comfort in each other’s company and confronting their own mortality I would ask whoever’s in charge to let me go with this song. The You Tube (Playing For Change) group from Australia goes over the top. I have been watching, listening to it for months, not every day but several times a day on many days. It is a good song to end the day with. If you haven’t listened to the (Playing For Change) version then you should.
You, who are on the road; Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself; Because the past is just a goodbye
Chorus
Teach your children well; Their father's hell did slowly go by
Feed them on your dreams; The one they pick's the one you'll know by
Don't you ever ask them why; If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh; And know they love you
You, of tender years; can’t know the fears that your elders grew by
Help them with your youth; They seek the truth before they can die.
Repeat Chorus
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