Back in the 1990’s I remember thinking about how long ago the 1960’s had been. Now, in the 2020’s it's déjà vu all over again, thinking how far back the 1990’s have slipped. I’m thinking about March of 2020 and how long ago that seems. My generation and those after me had never been put to this test. Pandemic had been about 3rd world countries or dreadful times from long before our time. I can juggle numbers and dates to make a point but all of humanity was caught flatfooted. Now I have vaccine immunity, good (probably) for at least long enough to learn how soon I need a booster shot and then I’ll get one assuming lots of other things happen like they should.
Spring has sprung. Yard work keeps me busy and I can socialize again with a select few. But there is a disconnect and I’m afraid the vaccine won’t help there. Flying over the California coast line you can see the San Andreas fault. It takes shape as a pattern of roads with sharp zigs-zags before continuing on their original, straight line path. Someday they may straighten the roads but they can’t undo the geological disconnect. From Atlantic to Pacific, India to Brazil, Covid is still calling the shots. Nobody knows for sure where the present is going. But we’re sophisticated, and smart. We have math and science to fall back on. Still, we couldn’t leapfrog from 12 years-old to 18 like we all wished we could. The disconnect again, and neither can we coax years if not decades of technical advance out of the moment.
I have enough to keep me busy, I can be outside as much as I like. But still, there is still the disconnect. In the late 1960’s Patty Page was pushing 50, hadn’t had a hit song in a decade. Then she recorded, ‘Is That All There Is?’ She reflects on her life, one event after another from the profound to the mundane she keeps begging the question. I thought her disillusion was more resolution than remorse, "So this is it!" I don’t know if being 50 is a universal tribulation but from this end it seems so. The idea that most of your life is behind you is a sobering revelation. Disillusion comes easy when your boss starts thinking about how much more expensive you are than a young replacement and when you get to the top of the hill you look around and everything is still uphill.
I can’t complain and I’m not really. I understand that I am trapped in a fleeting moment that keeps renewing itself as I keep growing older. The present renews from one moment to the next but I do not and that’s alright. A former minister at my church once spoke on, ‘Eternity’. All Souls could be just as well named, The Church of Enlightened Doubt. Faith and salvation down’t get much traction there. So the point of his sermon was not about a mythical promise but the tangible present. In a few billion years our star (Sun) will go supernova, swell up like a big, red balloon and literally vaporize everything in our solar system. It has happened before. Our solar system; sun, planets, moons and our ‘Blue Boat Home’ the earth, were formed from star dust left behind from another, even older supernova. At this point units of time become absurd. The disconnect is like yesterday's mosquito bite, bearable but still it begs attention. Humans are hardwired for a sense of eternal purpose, left over circuits from tribal, Stone Age days. Even knowing better, we still have trouble letting it go. When there is no one left to listen it will not change the fact, we were here.
Spring has sprung. Yard work keeps me busy and I can socialize again with a select few. But there is a disconnect and I’m afraid the vaccine won’t help there. Flying over the California coast line you can see the San Andreas fault. It takes shape as a pattern of roads with sharp zigs-zags before continuing on their original, straight line path. Someday they may straighten the roads but they can’t undo the geological disconnect. From Atlantic to Pacific, India to Brazil, Covid is still calling the shots. Nobody knows for sure where the present is going. But we’re sophisticated, and smart. We have math and science to fall back on. Still, we couldn’t leapfrog from 12 years-old to 18 like we all wished we could. The disconnect again, and neither can we coax years if not decades of technical advance out of the moment.
I have enough to keep me busy, I can be outside as much as I like. But still, there is still the disconnect. In the late 1960’s Patty Page was pushing 50, hadn’t had a hit song in a decade. Then she recorded, ‘Is That All There Is?’ She reflects on her life, one event after another from the profound to the mundane she keeps begging the question. I thought her disillusion was more resolution than remorse, "So this is it!" I don’t know if being 50 is a universal tribulation but from this end it seems so. The idea that most of your life is behind you is a sobering revelation. Disillusion comes easy when your boss starts thinking about how much more expensive you are than a young replacement and when you get to the top of the hill you look around and everything is still uphill.
I can’t complain and I’m not really. I understand that I am trapped in a fleeting moment that keeps renewing itself as I keep growing older. The present renews from one moment to the next but I do not and that’s alright. A former minister at my church once spoke on, ‘Eternity’. All Souls could be just as well named, The Church of Enlightened Doubt. Faith and salvation down’t get much traction there. So the point of his sermon was not about a mythical promise but the tangible present. In a few billion years our star (Sun) will go supernova, swell up like a big, red balloon and literally vaporize everything in our solar system. It has happened before. Our solar system; sun, planets, moons and our ‘Blue Boat Home’ the earth, were formed from star dust left behind from another, even older supernova. At this point units of time become absurd. The disconnect is like yesterday's mosquito bite, bearable but still it begs attention. Humans are hardwired for a sense of eternal purpose, left over circuits from tribal, Stone Age days. Even knowing better, we still have trouble letting it go. When there is no one left to listen it will not change the fact, we were here.
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