Yesterday my coffee group met, for real, at Panera’s in Brookside, KC, MO. They were there a few days earlier but I was swimming and missed the meetup. Our table was full, 9 at the long table with a short table added on at the end and I took the last chair. We were a good distance from the booth section and all vaccinated so it was maskless. I was so, so excited to read lips again. My hearing aids work but the lip thing is hardwired by now. Funny, the ladies were at one end, all leaning in while at the other end we were leaning back, talking louder I suppose. It is hard to express how good it felt to recreate that high-end human chemistry. Before Covid we met six mornings a week, not everybody every day but a good mix was typical. Easing into the new normal the plan is, I understand, to meet now on Tuesday & Friday.
I sat by Ken, maybe not as old as me but well into retirement. A business man, he had owned several companies, was mayor of a small city in Minnesota and a conservative republican for most of that time. I know his history very well but after such a long time, we both revisited well worn versions and extrapolations, verbatim or indirectly, those familiar stories with no issues about repeating common knowledge.
Ken’s wife passed away when his kids were in high school. Once they were out of college he sold his business, investing in real estate. He wanted more freedom to travel so he became a landlord with multiple, residential properties. His experience with renters ran contrary to his previous perceptions and common sense expectations. He told me again, from over 20 years of being a landlord, his best renters were people of color. Unexpectedly, majority white’s who had steady jobs were much more likely to tear up things, slow to pay or skip out. Here was Ken telling me, “The conservative, free will, take responsibility model sounds great when you see it from the top down but from the bottom up, it’s a mine field.” I’ve known that fact forever but it’s nice hearing it from someone else. We both echoed the same observation: the most important decision you will ever make is choosing your parents. Pick wrong and your chances of economic success range from slim to none. Born-again Capitalists delight in condescending, self righteous, white privilege and Adam Smith’s invisible hand is the butcher’s thumb on the scale.
I’ll probably sit next to someone else next time but the group is diverse as can be and something good is bound to happen. Drew is a retired systems engineer (not the train kind) and probably the smartest, deepest well of useful information I know. He is an even better listener, steel trap memory, but when he throws out an interesting tidbit or the “Rest of the story”, you can count on it. Fred is an old pioneer from universities first efforts to make psychology research more data driven, no more anecdotal exceptions or theoretic supposition. They still come after him to be on one task force or another but he has pretty much told them, “No thanks.” He likes his beer in a frosted mug. Bob is a survivor of the “If it feels good, Hippy 60’s & 70’s.” He got in early on the IT revolution, out early as well. He is incredibly well read and likes to have the last word. If your ego is easily bruised he might be too much too soon but never boring. Coffee at Panera’s is not only tasty and entertaining but habit forming as well.
I sat by Ken, maybe not as old as me but well into retirement. A business man, he had owned several companies, was mayor of a small city in Minnesota and a conservative republican for most of that time. I know his history very well but after such a long time, we both revisited well worn versions and extrapolations, verbatim or indirectly, those familiar stories with no issues about repeating common knowledge.
Ken’s wife passed away when his kids were in high school. Once they were out of college he sold his business, investing in real estate. He wanted more freedom to travel so he became a landlord with multiple, residential properties. His experience with renters ran contrary to his previous perceptions and common sense expectations. He told me again, from over 20 years of being a landlord, his best renters were people of color. Unexpectedly, majority white’s who had steady jobs were much more likely to tear up things, slow to pay or skip out. Here was Ken telling me, “The conservative, free will, take responsibility model sounds great when you see it from the top down but from the bottom up, it’s a mine field.” I’ve known that fact forever but it’s nice hearing it from someone else. We both echoed the same observation: the most important decision you will ever make is choosing your parents. Pick wrong and your chances of economic success range from slim to none. Born-again Capitalists delight in condescending, self righteous, white privilege and Adam Smith’s invisible hand is the butcher’s thumb on the scale.
I’ll probably sit next to someone else next time but the group is diverse as can be and something good is bound to happen. Drew is a retired systems engineer (not the train kind) and probably the smartest, deepest well of useful information I know. He is an even better listener, steel trap memory, but when he throws out an interesting tidbit or the “Rest of the story”, you can count on it. Fred is an old pioneer from universities first efforts to make psychology research more data driven, no more anecdotal exceptions or theoretic supposition. They still come after him to be on one task force or another but he has pretty much told them, “No thanks.” He likes his beer in a frosted mug. Bob is a survivor of the “If it feels good, Hippy 60’s & 70’s.” He got in early on the IT revolution, out early as well. He is incredibly well read and likes to have the last word. If your ego is easily bruised he might be too much too soon but never boring. Coffee at Panera’s is not only tasty and entertaining but habit forming as well.
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