Saturday, January 9, 2021

FATE: DAY 297

  The only way to begin this thing is with a disclaimer. I need a boost from long time hero Elie Wiesel who said, “I write as much to understand as to be understood.” Today is one of those days where I really can not tell if I have something to say or if it’s all process, rearranging pieces, stirring muck with a stick: somehow the latter feels more real. Ten months of pandemic is enough, especially if you are old, if you live alone and conform religiously to social distance. Four years of leaderless government is enough, especially if you are old and if you remember when leaders were able to pursue personal ambition without sacrificing moral integrity. Naive as I may be, I understand that beyond the platitudes, politics is ruthless bloodsport. We get the best government that money can buy. Still, at our worst, what we have is it better than living in Syria or Yemen, in Somalia or Belarus. Even so, America has, in the past few years and especially the last few weeks, been on a trajectory that could change that. I feel betrayed, like a faithful Christian left behind at the Rapture.  
In an editorial from yesterday’s Arizona Republic, E.J. Montini scourged Republicans who ran against DT in the 2016 primaries. At the time, all of them, Cruz, Graham, Rubio, Haley, Bush, Rand Paul, and more: they thoroughly detailed the serious failings and dangerous tendencies of candidate Trump. Their criticism was well founded, detailing the unavoidable high risks that would come with Trump in the White House. Montini went on to urge the public forum, not to let these high profile Republicans rewrite history to remove themselves from the DT legacy. Once sworn in, they all became willing enablers, empowering the President to surpass his own worst self. Politicians feared his retribution in the next election cycle or they caved in to partisan pressure: the things that happen in a partisan showdown can defy logic. Nobody wants to be remembered as the loser who did the right thing. “We didn’t work this hard, this long, to get this far and then shoot ourselves in the foot.” I think it’s the gambler’s syndrome: the worse the odds for success, the greater the urge to raise the ante. I don’t believe that Democrats across the board are more high minded but in this case they do have the moral high ground.
I remember an August night in Grand Haven, Michigan. We sat on the river bank and watched an awesome fireworks display. At the end, all you could sense was the thumping of rockets being launched, of flashing, booming bomb bursts high above. I could feel the compression waves in my chest and the experience is unforgettable. Then it went silent as the last dying sparkler fell into the river and the silence went dark. Now, I wonder if the knee-jerk outrage against the wannabe dictator and his suck-up henchmen will fizzle like the last sparkler. Old news isn’t news the next day and people who wanted to believe, who identified with him will be quick to forgive. Will public attention move on without me or did the wretched man strike a nerve? If the (Donald) has demonstrated our vulnerability to infectious, malignant narcissism, what is to keep a different, new, self worshiping despot from taking us down the same path again? There is no guarantee that Democracy will prevail. It has a fragile, weak link that survives from one breath to the next, just like we do. If that link is broken, how long can you hold your breath; there you are. 
I don’t want to leave it there. I’ve been reading quotes about ‘Fate’, things that were just meant to be. Fate would have each of us fixed with a predetermined, unescapable resolution and history would already be complete, prewritten by a mysterious, all knowing hand. That’s fun talk, a place to go when you've lost your way. I concede to fate as it defines the moment, the interface of backstory and the present. Everything looking back, that's fate. I
t had to unfold exactly as it has, for me to be as I am, here and now.  It is neither a probability nor a destination. Like Doc Brown said in the movie ‘Back To The Future’ “The future hasn’t been written yet.” 
It’s a long stretch but music has always provided the best metaphors and I’ve been listening to Crosby, Stills & Nash. Their take on ‘Fate’ may be a long reach but I like it anyway: “And there’s a rose, in a fisted glove, And the eagle flies, with the dove, And if you can’t be with the one you love; Love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.” Fate is more what you bring to the story than what you take from it. 


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