NOT MY MONKEY

Why people do the things they do, say the things they say, assume that their priorities concern you at all; who knows, who cares? But you do care when it unfolds on your plate and in your lap. I once believed that the statement, “I don’t care,” was callous if not rude. Whatever it is that prompts such a response must have been important to someone. To say that you don’t care is, by extrapolation, a rejection of the other person. For a long time, that phrase was just not in my vocabulary; I might not have cared but I never said so.

“But I’m still hungry.” ~ It doesn’t matter, you can’t have another piece of pie.

“I’m angry with you.”  ~ That’s too bad, I do the best I can.

“That’s a terrible thing to do.” ~ That may be your opinion, still it doesn’t change anything. 

“The monkey escaped from the circus.” ~ Not my monkey, not my circus. 

Communication, dialogue in particular, is fraught with subtle cues that can be taken any number of ways. A raised eye brow, pursed lips, a sigh, a timely pause; they can all change the direction of what our words mean. Sometimes body language is enough to soften the hard edge on, ‘I don’t care.’ I've included 'IDC' back in my vocabulary. Under certain circumstances it’s exactly the right response. It may be about age or experience but I'm comfortable with it again. Propriety is still a good path to follow and callous, rude, condescending dismissal isn’t proper unless insult was the intent to begin with. 

“There is a problem.” ~ I know, but this one isn’t mine. It isn’t yours either. 

“No, we have a problem.” ~ If you think so, I hope it turns out.

“You don’t understand.” ~ I understand, I just don’t really care.

“You’ve got to care.” ~ No, I don’t care, not at all. I do not care.

You smile and buy your friend a cup of coffee, change the subject or explore why they think the way they do. It would occur to me that I might care under other circumstance; if it were my monkey, I might care. Outside the coffee shop, people leave their dogs tied to a tree or a table while they come inside to buy their latte. A Great Dane is busy licking the face of a baby in a stroller while the mother has her back turned, talking to a friend. I am entertained but should I care; I don’t think so. Not caring doesn’t have to be the rude indiscretion I once took it to be. I can only care about so many things at a time and if there isn’t enough room on my caring plate, then I don’t care.