CHOP STICKS

Food: sooner or later you accept the new culinary paradigm or you go hungry. I’ve played with chop sticks in my time but never had to depend on them. I could wimp out and accept the condescending looks that come with the fork but I like the idea of acquiring a new skill set. So I’m going native. We celebrated a birthday the other day at a traditional restaurant where they serve either Roast Duck, or Smoked Duck. We did the Roast Duck. It comes on a platter, stuffed with rice, berries, beans, nuts and pumpkin seeds. You have to separate the leg, wing or meat from the bird with chop sticks and it’s something you’d learn in a 300 level class at eating school.  I managed to get some meat in my bowl. In Korea, they like spoons so you can cheat there without drawing too much attention. When I discovered the stuffing, I brought in the spoon but kept the sticks as my primary weapon. 

We’ve all seen the low tables with seating on pillows; but you can’t really appreciate it until you have been down there for a while and need to get up. My companions were most courteous, they neither stared nor laughed out loud. In baseball, a batting average of .300 is great; with chop sticks you want to get food into your mouth at least, most of the time. I’d guess .800 or better would be good for a rookie like me. At the end of the day I was batting around .450 to .500, last to finish but did get enough to eat. You sit close to your food and lean into it. Most of what I dropped went back into a bowl so I got a second or third chance. What pleased me was, at the end, they noticed that my fork had not been touched which raised some eye brows. If anyone had been asked about our afternoon they would have said something about Grandma’s birthday. I’d have probably said something about going to chop stix practice and grazing on the side. I’ll get my own set of wooden chop stix. They’re lighter than the metal ones and offer more surface area at the point of contact. Then I’ll be like the pool shark who carries his own cue stick to the pool hall. They’ll see me coming and you can’t hide your Anglo heritage but maybe they’re expectations will rise a little.