80

I am rapidly approaching my 80th birthday, counting days. I know, it’s only a number. When I wake up on August 4, I will be a day older than I was on the day before and that doesn’t merit a second thought. Those ‘Only A Number’ people default to the Age Disclaimer for any number of reasons. It is much more affirming than, “Damn, you are so old!” (Just A Number) is code for the fact that someone has aged well and that’s fine. It is also an indirect way of dismissing the concept of time and age. After all, we are all trapped in in the present, in the fleeting moment, we can not escape being swept forward into the future: but when we get there it is still ‘Right Now.’ 

But 80 is different; not just from an age standpoint but as a number in of itself. The eight and zero are both symmetrical. It’s the first time in your life that the code for your age shows that kind of balance. If we’re lucky, life will prevail upon us with that kind of balance. Previous birthdays that marked the cusp, spanning one decade to the next, they came and went with neither fanfare nor lament. I can dismiss #80 with the same kind of denial that ushered in #60 & #70, (it’s only a number) but #80 is more than just a number this year. It’s a benchmark. 

With horse racing, jockeys navigate and position their horses out of the gate, into and out of the turns and down the back stretch. They speed up to close on the leader or glide when caught against the rail. They want to be in position to make a difference when the time comes. Coming out of the last turn they suck it up so to say, by the 1/16 pole they are totally invested in the dash to the finish. No matter where they are in the pack, they want to improve their position. After they blow under the wire, nothing matters any more. No matter where you place, you finish. I think age #80 is the 1/16 pole. Good health-poor health, rich-poor, appreciated-unappreciated, our ‘Right-Now’ moment is plunging ahead with no regard for how long we’ve been caught up in its trajectory or how long it will last. But #80 reminds me that my window for new beginnings is shrinking and I want to make the most of today’s ‘Right-Now’, and when it arrives, of tomorrow’s ‘Right-Now’.

Number #80 is not about first at the finish but about maximizing the moment. Unlike jockeys and owners, where I finish holds no promise. I’m in it for the bumping and shuffling, for the speed and glide, the sweat and the dirt, feet thundering against the ground and heavy breathing, looking for a gap to slip through. I really do believe this life is about the journey and like everything else, every little piece and part, they happen in the fleeting moment, in the ‘Now.’

So we will have a birthday party soon. Most of my favorite people will be there. I split fire wood this morning for the campfire and s’mores and we’ll have fresh, Michigan blueberries. I hear there will be peach cobbler instead of cake. If I get really lucky, #80 could be the precursor to #90, another benchmark, purposed for creating stories that will outlive you. The wisdom here, something to chew on; no matter how long you live, all you have to work with is the Here and Now. If you’ve been blessed with good health and good family, growing old just makes each moment more sweet, more precious.