. . . TIS OF THEE

I love my country but I did not choose it, it chose me; no malice, just a fact. Then I try very hard, difficult at best to be objective. The line that separates patriotism from nationalism is a muddy, meandering boundary. One is a virtue, predicated on love. Then, the other’s only purpose is, America first, right or wrong and to that end, the end justifies the means. The logic suggests that we love being first more than we love our high minded ideals. Experts have know forever that we move on emotion long before we concede to knowledge. It is difficult enough to admit, “I was wrong in my action.” It’s almost impossible to confess, “I was wrong in my belief.” Finding balance there is out of the question. As a people, we like to think we can do that but it’s like pulling your own teeth. To be open and objective, you must accept being wrong, willing to give up whatever it was that kept you centered in your comfort zone." All I can bring to a conversation stems from my inherent gene pool and the meaning I make from my experience. If there is something else, please advise.

The fun house at the carnival has mirrors that distort your image. They are funny with pencil-thin body, huge feet and head or any number of distorted reflections. When we identify as Americans it’s like looking into one of those mirrors but we get to pick which one. Then we are brainwashed to believe the reflection is both clear and accurate (the eye of the beholder.) From righteous patriots to godless dissidents, we justify our own passion and condemn those who genuflect at a different mirror. What does it really mean to be an American? Ask a dozen people and get as many different answers. For every righteous, noble, American example, you can find unspeakable dirt swept under the rug. The dichotomy is startling. Nobody gets up in the morning intent on subverting our nation and its culture but it’s easy to believe that your neighbors or people in the next state do. 

I am neither a salesman nor a judge, no insults, no last chance to get right with whom ever. But for the record, I do lean naturally to the left. I don’t think we make that choice rather, we discover what we have become. That’s where the teeth pulling option comes into play. I’m not much for sound bites or familiar punch lines. I want nuance, back-story, something with dots (reliable sources) to connect, putting some of the responsibility on me. I think of, “We don’t need a permission slip,” - “You’re either with us or against us,” - “One man, one woman,” - “Make America Great again.” They stir a lot of emotion and solidify the way we have been programmed, one way or the other, but provoke little or no thought. 

After only 240 years, America is writing its own history. When you write your own history, we know from history, we get as much fiction as we get history. We could compare and contrast what we have done well and what we have not but as a nation we don’t consult mirrors that have not been tweaked. Americans want to see a handsome, righteous, heroic reflection so that is the mirror we gaze into, glossing over crimes against humanity and a greedy, narcissistic self obsession. Europeans have nearly two millennia of well documented history and they see us as 2 year-olds who haven’t learned to share or take turns. It doesn’t make them better than us, they still have problems and issues yet they see the world with different eyes. We perceive their attitude as condescending arrogance and maybe so, but no less than the way we dismiss them. Their history, filtered through thousands of years, is loaded with lessons they don’t have to repeat to profit by. We suffer from a case of arrested development, still at the stingy, 2 yr-old stage, ‘What’s mine is mine and if I want it, your stuff is mine too.’ Not that other nations, other cultures don’t do the same but I’m talking about us. We like to believe we are above that.

Something about rebellion and democratic principles, priority on freedom to push back against an oppressive government. After all; Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness! What could make more sense? Canadians look at our Life-Liberty-Pursuit fetish with a healthy skepticism. I have Canadian friends who think our obsession with ‘Liberty’ is a thin disguise for license; might makes right and winner take all. Canada negotiated its independence; no war, no battles, no anger. Their constitution, democratic in principle and practice, identifies Peace, Order and Good Government as the pillars of their culture. Out of our violent birth and inclination to war, an aggressive, fractious people has emerged. Immigrants are more often running from something rather than toward, and we all descend from immigrants. They had an axe to grind, writing into law the right to vent their anger. Is it any wonder we squabble and fight the way we do? The gap between human nature and American hubris may be thin but beyond our borders, it is how we are defined. Anger comes easily when winning is paramount, where everyone is trying to displace someone above them in the pecking order and where enough is never enough. We get angry with the ones pulling us down and with those who won’t give way. Democracy is slow, ugly and inefficient. In a true democracy everyone has a say, we would argue for years on every issue and the founders knew that. The Republican form with representative governance favors the wealthy and powerful, as if they needed it, but it works. Still it always pits the underclass, trying to get ahead, against an established, affluent status quo that by definition, likes things the way they are. (2 yr-olds aren’t ready to embrace, share and take turns.) Still, nobody wants to reinvent the USSR or go back to feudalism.

We are in campaign mode for a national election and I feel more embarrassment for the process than I have passion for a cause. All I see are knee-jerk reactions and self righteous hyperbole. I don’t need more motivation. I prefer fairness and change to authority and tradition but I understand that either one without the other is untenable. So we squabble over where to put our feet, more to the left or more to the right. Both presidential candidates are unpopular and it seems the driving concern at the moment is for the future of the Supreme Court. Long held tradition says those Jurists are able to put ideology aside and apply the rule of law. But that hallowed jury seems to rely on goofy mirrors too. I’m afraid the Supreme Court is occupied by partisan politicians in black robes, framing arguments to advance their own bias. 

Sometimes I think I should have been born Canadian; I’m not angry enough to be a ‘true’ American. My ethical, moral sensibility resonates more with Nova Scotia and Alberta. My parents could have moved to Halifax or Saskatoon before I was born and that would have been fine. But they didn’t; I am who I am and I’m O.K. with that. But it’s hard talking with people who don’t listen, who think conversation is a contest and winning is all that matters. They butt in with their sound bite-punchlines, loaded in the mouth like cannon shells in the breech and dialogue is sacrificed for a mouth full of bullets.