SOMETIMES

Sometimes you can’t wait to go to sleep, so you’ll wake up soon and meet a new day. Sometimes the long list of things to do is exceeded only by your enthusiasm. Sometimes you catch yourself smiling for reasons, too many to shuffle through. Then there are times when all you think about is coffee. It’s like in the water at 6:00 a..m. with a mile and a half to go: you know the last lap will be great but you don’t swim any faster. Sometimes you keep on putting one foot in front of the other just because. This is one of those times. 

Last December I visited a church in Dayton, Ohio. The building was on the edge of an open field where thousands of blackbirds scurried around, pecking here and there, looking for food, finding shelter and security in large numbers. That’s what blackbirds do in winter. Inside, the stained glass windows were aglow with sun light as we churched. Then we heard a muffled, rustling, whirring sound that had nothing to do with worship. Blackbirds had taken off in mass. They were flying in tight formation, so close we could feel their wing beats. It was a huge swarm that seemed to be going nowhere. You could see dappled shadows streaming across the opaque windows as they flew from left to right, then right to left. Up and down, around and around; the side windows darkened with only ripples and flashes of daylight at their passing. It went on and on, for a minute or more. 

I’ve seen the swarm phenomenon before but never so close or experienced it from inside a building. They flow like an airborne river, first one way, then swerve and dive, only to reverse direction and come around for another pass. The sound was too much to ignore and they were so close you could see individual shadows flash by. The congregation kept churching, right through the din of light and sound. I wanted to stand up and shout, “Hey, let's hear it for the blackbirds.” Did they think there was a hymn in the book or a prayer that could top that: I don’t think so. It made my day. 

So here I am today, feeling like a blackbird. I’m just shuffling around in good company, waiting for something to stir inside my head or my heart that will give me wings. Daylight is coming back, dawning sooner and dimming later. I’ll keep swimming early but one day soon I’ll wake up like Bill Murray, in the movie Ground Hog Day and know that it's time to fly..